


cuddles are necessary for survival

by itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualday)



Series: dip and pip domestic fluff [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bants, Boyfriends, Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Domestic af, Fluff, M/M, i need to stop writing fluff, this is gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:51:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmyusualday/pseuds/itsmyusualphannie
Summary: in which dan is passive-aggressive and phil just wants some cuddles (and maybe haribo)





	cuddles are necessary for survival

“Phil,” Dan said. “What the hell are you doing?”

Phil paused. He had just crawled on the bed and nestled up against Dan. “Er,” he said hopefully. “What does it look like I'm doing?”

“It looks,” said Dan, “like you're trying to take my shirt off.”

Phil refused to move his fingers from their loose hold around Dan's hips. “So?” he said. “You look fantastic with your shirt off. It's something you should embrace. Go shirtless more often.”

“It's cold in here. That's not happening. Maybe if you turned the heat up…”

“I run hot, you know that,” Phil protested. “That's why we have this duvet.” He patted it as an example.

Dan didn't even bother looking at him, which Phil found rather insulting. Especially since Phil had stripped down to his boxers before climbing into bed next to him.

“I'm comfortable how I am,” Dan said coolly, scrolling slowly through his phone. “And I'm not in the mood for sex.”

Phil attempted to look offended. “Sex? I just thought you'd be…warmer…under the covers with me.”

Dan scoffed.

“ _Dan_ ,” Phil whined.

“ _Phil_ ,” Dan said in the same tone.

Phil pouted very intensely at him.

Admirably, Dan held out for a solid two minutes before glancing down at him. “Jesus Christ, Phil,” he said.

Phil _was_ rather proud of his ability to look pathetic. The corners of his mouth slipped further down.

Dan rolled his eyes so hard he may have lost them in the back of his skull. He threw down his phone, and, with great affront, tugged his shirt over his head and tossed it off the side of the bed.

Phil beamed and sprawled across Dan's chest. “I love you,” he said into Dan's collarbone.

“Ugh,” said Dan.

Phil sulked.

“UGH,” said Dan. “I love you. Idiot.”

Phil took what he could get.

Dan grabbed his phone, shoving against Phil's ridiculously long arms. “I'm going back to Tumblr.”

“Okay,” Phil said, his nose squished against Dan’s collarbone.

Dan squirmed at the sensation of Phil's lips brushing over his neck. “Phil,” he warned.

“Hmm,” Phil hummed innocently.

“Don't you ‘hmm’ me, I know what you're trying to do.”

“Do tell.”

Dan considered the effort it would take to kick Phil out of the room, but decided he didn't feel like it. “If you so much as _breathe_ on my neck, you’re sleeping on the floor.”

Phil nodded in agreement. And then promptly breathed on Dan’s neck.

“Phil!”

“It was an accident!” Phil lifted his head, looking sheepish. “It’s like when you tell someone not to think about a white elephant and then they do.”

“That’s...no, it’s not really.” Dan poked Phil in the side. “I fucking told you, anyway. Do you _want_ to sleep on the floor?”

“Noo _oo_ ,” Phil whined. He slid down a little, dropping his head onto Dan’s stomach and snuffling into the soft dip below his ribcage.

“Ticklish,” Dan warned, squirming a little, but relaxed when Phil stilled. He rested his phone on top of Phil’s head, flattening his hair, and continued scrolling.

“Hrrmrm phlsuth,” said Phil, completely unintelligible with his face smushed to Dan’s belly.

“Wot,” said Dan.

Phil raised his head reluctantly, dislodging Dan’s phone. “I said, I just got a craving for Haribo.”

“Then go get some.” Belying his words, Dan shoved Phil’s head back down and propped up the phone again.

“Don’t wanna get up, ‘m too comfy,” Phil complained. “Can you get it?”

Dan scoffed. “You’re literally squashing me and you expect me to get up and satisfy your sweet tooth?”

Phil giggled. “Yes.”

“No,” said Dan. “Then you’d complain that I left.”

“But Hariboooo,” insisted Phil.

“NO,” said Dan.

Phil sulkily licked Dan’s nipple.

Dan slapped Phil’s bare shoulder. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Phil pouted again, but Dan raised his phone and focused on it. “I’m ignoring you,” he said, contradicting his statement by looking at Phil immediately afterward.

Phil’s bottom lip was poked out so far that Dan probably could have propped up his phone on it instead of his head. “I just want sugar,” he moped. “Or cuddles.”

Dan stared at him for a very long moment. “You’re a little shit,” he finally said.

Phil blinked at him.

“ _F_ _ine_ ,” Dan griped. He turned his phone off and chucked it onto the nightstand. “‘Sugar’ had better not be a euphemism. Big spoon or little?”

Phil’s face lit up. “Little!”

“Shove over,” Dan ordered, and Phil complied immediately, rolling off of Dan and curling away from him. Dan grabbed the duvet and hauled it up over them both, dropping down behind Phil and throwing a long leg over Phil’s. He slipped his arm across Phil’s chest and buried his face into the back of Phil’s neck.

“I hate you,” he muttered.

“I love you,” Phil said contentedly. He squirmed back against Dan until he was comfortable. “You’re the best.”

“You’re the worst,” Dan grumped. He pressed a kiss to the soft skin behind Phil’s ear. “So demanding.”

“I need cuddles,” insisted Phil. “Always.”

Dan huffed a laugh, Phil’s hair tickling his nose. “Literally always. How would you survive without cuddles?”

“I wouldn’t,” Phil said confidently. “‘S why I keep you around. Just for the cuddles.”

“Oh, is that it?”

“Yes.”

Dan poked Phil’s belly button insistently. “Really.”

Phil giggled. “Really really,” he said.

“You should be nice to me,” Dan told him. “I’m cuddling you like you wanted.”

“I’m always nice,” Phil said, believably.

“You’re a little shit,” Dan said again.

“But I’m your little shit,” said Phil.

“...Ew,” Dan said, after a long moment.

Phil laughed brilliantly, his stomach shaking against Dan’s hand. “Oh my gosh, I didn’t think about that. That’s so gross.”

“Why are _we_ so gross?” Dan questioned.

“I blame you entirely.”

“Do you now?”

“Yes. Entirely.”

“You’re the one that uses the toilet while I’m taking a shower,” Dan lists. “And leaves your dirty socks all over the furniture and floor. And doesn’t throw the condom in the trash can. And - ”

“I get it!” Phil said. He waited for a few seconds to be sure Dan had stopped, then added brightly, “And you’re the one who likes eating ass.”

“You’re the one that likes _getting_ your ass eaten out,” Dan retorted.

“You like sucking dick,” Phil shot back.

“ _Your_ dick.”

“You eat out of my bowl.”

“It’s my goddamn cereal.”

“You brush your teeth after me.”

“It’s  _my goddamn toothbrush!_ ”

Phil was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. “I don’t have an answer to that,” he wheezed.

Dan scoffed. “No, of course not. You’re disgusting. I win.”

“You don’t win,” Phil insisted, still gasping for air. “I do.”

“ _Please_ ,” said Dan, “ _explain_ , just exactly, _how_ you won this conversation.”

“You’re still cuddling me,” Phil said triumphantly.

There was a long, silent moment.

And then Dan shoved him off the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at [itsmyusualphannie.tumblr.com](https://itsmyusualphannie.tumblr.com)!


End file.
